Antiquated Rhymes
I’m feeling extra self-important today, so I’ll post something from about a year ago.
The 2008-2009 school year brought Nick Rapper to the mainstream — about ten or so sophomores — delivering his a cappella tracks with “methodical vigor.” (My friends and I are actually going to record circa seven of those raps.) Here’s the slightly-edited third verse of “I Can’t Promise Anything,” which will get a beat by the end of April.
Okay, I’ma switch topics with a complete lack of precision / This my magic vision (more like a jacked-up mission) / Dude’s in his car, sticks his huge key into his vast igntion / Drives at hyperspeed, causes a massive collision / I went adjective fishin’ if you hadn’t been listenin’ / Y’all are so hooked that you’d sign in no time if I had a petition / Y’all are shocked and the static is sizzlin’ / This is basic. Subtraction; addition. You’re zero now! Bow down ‘cause your pastor has risen / Y’all are stumped and wordless / The feeling you have is the product of an absurdist / Go ahead. Run and flirt with all the fems that are dumb and shirtless / They’re young and furtive. Have fun with your mundane, loan-funded purchase / I’m almost done humans — out of breath, sweaty / I couldn’t care less if my guests get me / I’m in Dreamland, ready for Freddy to shred me / If y’all have met me, you know the products of my head are nothing less than deadly!
© … just kidding
This girl, Cailin, just received a few positive messages regarding the two-month relationship between her and Sarah. And, well, I wanted to see if I could do something like what I did without it looking entirely “random.” So: although my subliminal advertisement of MGMT’s Congratulations may not have, um, convinced her to buy the album … I just like the result.
Crushed Loser
Someone unfollowed me. Don’t worry — they’ll burn in Hell.
Still … I’m kind of depressed. My face looks roughly like this bro right here: ♕ … he knows what it’s like to go from 100 to 99 followers.
Rambling Man
Hi, proponents and detractors. There’s this fictional blog I run. The Fictional Account of Miss Teacher’s Exploits in Technology. Here. Um, I just posted something there for the first time in five weeks. The post before that was meant to wrap up the narrative in a meta-fictional context. It didn’t, though.
- Last week, this girl Jen told me to write her a birthday blog post. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get it done for March 10 — I started it on the 5th — in time for her sixteenth. But I wrote it. And that counts! (Best birthday present ever?)
- My poll was stuck at eleven votes. I destroyed it. Vote in my new poll, please! It’s decidedly a “random” affair.
Love y’all to death!
[Edit: the preceding fictional post did wrap the narrative up. In fact, “Birthday Quest” is a diversion; it stands alone.]
I think I just accidentally swallowed my sunglasses.
I got snow on my boots today and it made me feel murderous. I’m just kidding, it only made me livid.
