Didactic Fizzle

Antiquated Rhymes

I’m feeling extra self-important today, so I’ll post something from about a year ago.

The 2008-2009 school year brought Nick Rapper to the mainstream — about ten or so sophomores — delivering his a cappella tracks with “methodical vigor.” (My friends and I are actually going to record circa seven of those raps.) Here’s the slightly-edited third verse of “I Can’t Promise Anything,” which will get a beat by the end of April.

Okay, I’ma switch topics with a complete lack of precision / This my magic vision (more like a jacked-up mission) / Dude’s in his car, sticks his huge key into his vast igntion / Drives at hyperspeed, causes a massive collision / I went adjective fishin’ if you hadn’t been listenin’ / Y’all are so hooked that you’d sign in no time if I had a petition / Y’all are shocked and the static is sizzlin’ / This is basic. Subtraction; addition. You’re zero now! Bow down ‘cause your pastor has risen / Y’all are stumped and wordless / The feeling you have is the product of an absurdist / Go ahead. Run and flirt with all the fems that are dumb and shirtless / They’re young and furtive. Have fun with your mundane, loan-funded purchase / I’m almost done humans — out of breath, sweaty / I couldn’t care less if my guests get me / I’m in Dreamland, ready for Freddy to shred me / If y’all have met me, you know the products of my head are nothing less than deadly!

© … just kidding

Tagged: RapPersonalIndulgenceHehNostalgiaUm